“Mom and dad, I wanna invite my friends over for a sleepover.”
“I love this idea,” exclaimed the girl’s father.”
“No, you have to stay away!”
“What do you mean? I’m the king of sleepovers!”
“It’s not that kind of sleepover, GOD! …Mom, please don’t let him ruin this!”
Susan gently patted Fred’s left hand and said, “Fred, you need to give her space. They’re her friends, so the fun she has with them needs to be on her terms.”
“But I could show you how to rip into fresh flesh while delivering witty puns, and…”
“Ew, dad no! Stay away from my friends! Don’t be skeezy, oh my god!”
“Skeezy? But this is my…”
“And you can’t call any of them ‘bitch!'”
“Oh, I know. Your parent/teacher conference was a nightmare. Well…not literally. Hahahaha!”
“Oh my god, maybe this is a mistake. You’re going to be totally embarrassing.”
“No, no, no. Sweetheart, I promise I will do my best to stay out of their dreams.”
“Do your best?! No, you have to promise to stay out completely!”
“Okay, I’ll do it for you.”
“Thank you, daddy! I’m going to let everyone know right now that it’s on!”
“Fred, you really better be on your best behavior, our daughter has your powers and is a teenager.”
After a bit of staring into the abyss of imagining all the horrible things she might do, Fred spoke distantly.
“Maybe I’ll see if some of the guys want to go camping.”